Kandy Pop Kronicals
by Kandy Pop Characters
Summary: A few friends find themselves in a lot of sticky situations, including Ethan's paws, made of dark and milk chocolate, and Sophie's Stickonatinarater! Rated M for Mouths, since we have 6 of them, and possibly a few more along the way joining us! [NOTE: There will be mentionings here and there of other animes/games/mangas/etc. Read at your own daring.]
1. Ch 1: Hex Escapees

Sophie whimpered and flinched away from the human's hand as it tried desperately to wipe the pus off from her right eye. They had just recently popped a sty that was there, and her eye was bleeding and pouring pus. Her eye hurt like ever, and she whimpered even more as they tried to open her eye. No such luck. If anything, she squeezed it shut tighter and tried to move away, lifting up one fingerless paw and flicking them with chocolate mint ice cream. _Nooooo... _she whined, but it came out more like a "_Syyyyyylvv..._" instead. She was not a happy camper at all. In fact, if anything, she was quite unhappy. She pulled her left lollipop eye off with a ribbon and licked it a bit to calm herself down, an empty socket where it once was. Of course, they took that as an opportunity to try and clean the socket out, but she flinched away and hissed, her three remaining ribbons rising and darting forwards and back threateningly. _Hell no, they are __not__ touching my eye!, _She thought, swearing softly under her breath.

In a large cage not too far away, Destiny lifted her head and barked, slamming her paws on the cage and trying to knock it over. She had twisted her ankle from running from the animal police earlier, and she walked with a limp. Nina was curled up, asleep, doing nothing but lay there. And lay there. _And lay there._ And sleep. And sleep. _And sleep._ Sophie yipped and "Sylv!"'d back at them, waking Nina up. "Sophie, what the unmitigated fuck? I was fucking trying to fucking sleep, you little bitchy shit!" Nina snapped, quite unhappy. (A/N: Yes, Nina cusses when she's awakened. Very, very badly.) Nina growled, glaring death eye daggers at Sophie as she hopped down from the table and padded over at the cage to get in, leaving a trail of circular mint chocolate chip prints behind her. She nudged the door open with her semi-pointed snout and climbed in, Destiny limping out. Deciding to make Nina more pissed than she already is, Sophie stuck her paws into the annoyed, sleeping, fire Kat's fur and froze her back with the cold, melted substance. "FUCKING SHIT ASSED SON OF A BITCH!" Nina yowled, running out of the cage and causing a disruption. Highly amused, Sophie fell back, laughing and howling and carrying on. Now she was happy. Now she was amused. Now she was _dead! _"C'MERE, YA LITTLE FUCKIN' SHIT!" Nina howled, running right at her. She bolted from the cage and ran around the room, causing the parrots to fly and the monkeys to laugh and jump and the lions to roar. Oh, what a sight it was, what a sight.

As the animal care assistants tried to catch the fleeing Sophie and pissed Nina, Destiny and Ethan ran over to the door and tried to push it open. Jesse soon followed, then came Eliyanna, Eli for short. Ethan kept slipping and stumbling over the melted trail of milk and dark dark chocolate his paws were making, and soon he had to curl up and crash into the glass door. _SMASH! Thud, thud, thud._ They high-tailed out of there, Sophie and Nina soon following, Nina still fuming at the ears from being woke up, but slightly less unhappy at getting out. "Fina-fucking-ly! Fresh air, rather than that fucking shit-assed smog in that damned room. I can finally BREATHE!" Nina whispered as they darted across a road. "Wait for meeeee!" Sophie mewled as the others reached the other side. She had been scared brainless from the fact that one of those cars could easily crush her... Until she heard the noise of shouting. Then she hauled her fuzzy little white butt over to the other side. "Okay, go! GoGoGoGo!" she said, taking a right down the sidewalk and darting.

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A/N: I'm just putting this out as a Pokemon story, since Kandy Pops are basically Pokemon, but with a few less fantasy-like items and a few more real-life items, but they have Abilities, Moves, Types, and all that stuff like Pokemon. The only difference is that most of them are regular animals with candy-like features, rather than Pokemon with regular animals with unrealistic colors and stuff.


	2. Ch 2: Well, Fishy!

After their big escape from the Animal Zoo/Shelter/Terrifying Big Place That They Were Sticking Shit In Our Arms With (by Nina terms), the crew took a right turn down to a hill. A steep as hell hill, but still a hill... Until Nina lost her balance running down it. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" was all you heard, but it sounded more like 'Mrroooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!' instead. She landed at the bottom and did a mini flip onto her back. "I give it a 9.5 out of 10!" Eli yelled, laughing hysterically afterwards. "I guess we'll be staying here for the night..." Sophie muttered, padding down slowly. The others followed soon after and saw Nina panicking in happiness... over a _lake._ "Oh, fuck yes! Fish! Hallelujah! Halle-fucking-lujah!" Nina cried as she stuck her muzzle into the lake. "Hey, this is fishily fishy! There aren't any damn fish! The hell?" she muttered as bubbles broke the surface, her words exiting from the water that way. "Get up here and stop trying to drown yourself, fuck-brain." Destiny muttered, poking her head in an old fox's den. "Fuck yourself and your mom by yourself with your dad fucking you in your fucking ass too, Des." Nina growled, glaring eye daggers at the Wulf. "I'm not lesbian, Nifuck."

"Screw you too!"

"Still not lesbian."

"Shut the bloody mother of fucking shit-faced ass-wiped hell UP already!"

"Nope."

"Would you two just fucking QUIT IT?" Sophie raised her voice, one eye twitching slightly. "If we want to be free for tonight-and possibly many other nights out here-, we need to let Destiny-chan finish searching that den for any traps or anything!"

"And food. Food is important, too." Destiny added.

"Not as important as you shutting up and stop fucking my brain." Nina growled.

"Want me to fuck your brain, fuck-brain?"

"You said you weren't lesbian, you liar."

"Fuck off."

"Ha-ha, you suck too." Nina finished the conversation, sticking her head back into the water to search for any other water forms.

"Nina-chan, stay in the lake and search for fish and stuff in that category. Destiny-chan, _get your ass into that mother fucking den and look, for the sake of us not getting caught again._" Sophie commanded the two of them. Soon, Destiny had cleared a space large enough for the six of them to huddle together for warmth throughout the night. Once Destiny was finished, Nina managed to drag out a still flopping catfish that flopped around violently. "Shi'!" she growled, meaning to say _Shit!, _but her mouth was kinda full with fishtail. They had all huddled around it, poking and prodding it to death since they had no fingers, much less claws or nails. Once Sophie poked it's eye out (and no, she did not go "Ewwwww!" for two minutes as she tried to shake the eye off. She was to awesome for that, thank you very much.) and jabbed it's brain (Same there.), Sophie flicked her tail and a sprinkle lit up on the ground, managing not to burn it. She threw the fish onto the fire with the help of Ethan and the others, half burning it, and threw it into the lake to douse the flames on it. She nosed her way into it's body and managed to tilt her head to one side and gnaw off some of the fish, chewing on it (She had her front teeth knocked out, so she has to turn her head to eat...) as Nina padded up and chewed part of it's back off. The others gathered forwards (with Ethan slipping every now and then due to his chocolate paws) and gnawed and chewed their share off from the dead fish, then Eli gnawed on it's bones a small summary of that day for Sophie(because(, again,) she had no front teeth to do so, and turning your head to write on a bone is a lot harder that even writing on it with your teeth regularly): _Woke up, caused mayhem, ran from the animal police, fell in a ditch, got knocked out, got captured, sent to the Animal Shelter and Zoo, escaped with me pissing Nina the hell off, ran across a road, found a small den, commanded Nina and Destiny to stop fighting, cooked fish, ate fish, slept. _She picked the bones up with Ethan and carried it off to a small field near some cattle, then launched it at one with Ethan howling in amusement as it landed on one's face, causing panic. They high-tailed out of there back to the den with the others and Eli, being the awesome Espon she is, nose-dived into the den and into the farthest corner. Sophie crawled in next, sighing and curling up next to Eli since she didn't want to block the doorway. Ethan slipped and slid down into the den, half crashing on-top of Eli and Sophie. "Watch it, tit-brain!" Eli yelped as he landed with his butt half in her face. "S-Sorry, Eli! I didn't mean to!" the smaller male mewled, scrambling to curl up into Eli. "I was just messing with you." She purred, curling around him like a mother cat would. (A/N: D'awwwwwwww...) Destiny strut into the den and curled up next to Sophie. Jesse padded in and wedged himself between Eli, Ethan, Destiny, and Sophie to get warm since he was the cold-blooded one of the group, being a Vaporon, causing him to be partially fish. The last thing they needed was Jesse dead in the night from the cold. Nina padded in last and covered the hole of the den up with a few rocks, making sure to keep spaces so that they could breathe and that they could wake up when morning comes correctly. She crawled on top of Jesse to keep him warmer. "Thanks, Ni..." he muttered, falling asleep quickly. The others, except Sophie, were already asleep, their breathing soft and steady. Ethan was deep asleep. "You're welcome, Jess..." Nina replied, then she fell asleep as well. Sophie looked at the lights as the moon rose in the sky before resting her head down. Sleep was a long ways away from her at that moment, and she took enough time time to fall asleep as she took trying to stay awake, but soon that battle was won with her giving in to the dark haven that many called sleep.

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A/N: Well, this was an awesome chapter. Maybe I could add some new things to it later, but meh. This'll do a lot for a second chapter. Oh, and please a review. I didn't mention that in the other chapter, but I'd love if you gave me a review on this!


	3. Ch 3: Rated C for Crackiness

A/N: This is what happens when I decide to write a chapter, but I have no idea what to write it on. So, uh... Enjoy.

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Sophie woke up first. She got up and sighed before poking her head out of a space in the rocks. Outside , there were MOOSEN running around. A huge flock of MOOSEN flying and running around. "EVERYONE WAKE UP THERE ARE MOOSEN OUTSIDE!" she cried, running over to prod everyone awake with her nose. Jesse used Hydro Pump on the rocks. The rocks blasted out and landed on some MOOSEN and the MOOSEN they landed on died and they ate those moosen. Then some hunters came out of nowhere and started to shoot RAINBOW BULLETS at them. "Run! Rainbow bullets!" Eli cried and they ran away.

Ethan started to shoot giant Hershey's bars at the hunters and the hunters turned to solid chocolate. "That was weird." He commented.

"Almost as if they knew we were here..." Eli said.

"Hey, I did make the dead moosen go 'UWWUGHHHHHHHHHH!' when the rocks landed on them." Jesse said. "I made them make a noise and alert them."

Then suddenly a random green flare went up behind them. "NOPE." Sophie said and they fled from it before this could become a random chapter where Attack on Titan became one with it like Russia from Hetalia wants all to become one with him, da?

Jesse struck a pose on the hill and said, "Too smooth." before running off, the others chasing him down the side of the highway for about 6 miles, then they jumped off the side and landed next to a stream without face-planting. Except Ethan, since he always face-plants, so he face-planted.

"Mommyyyyyyy!," Ethan whimpered, rubbing his nose as Eli-being his 'mommy' when he's in his kid mind-padded over and kissed his nose. "Thank you for making me feel better, mommy." he said, smiling an Evee smile.

"You're welcome, dear." Eli said. Jesse suddenly and randomly glomped her.

"GLOMP PILE!" Jesse cried. Sophie sighed and sprung onto Jesse, landing clumsily in a semi-glomp. A moment later, a Jolton walks by and glomps them. "Hi Amber." They all say. "Hi." Amber says.

Next came Bryan, a scary Umbron. He huffed and sprang, glomping Amber. "YOU ARE CRUSHING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Eli screamed and writhed until the glomp pile was a bunch of Kandy Pops sprawled out all over the ground. Jesse landed in the most awkward position that Amber had an Anime nosebleed.

Then they found an awesome underground CITY thing that they slept in for the current time being and then they went back and with Eli's AWESOME SKILLS THAT MAKES HER AMAZING, she learned Dig and dug out a stream from the catfish lake to the main stream but she made a dam that blocked the rest of the stream so that they couldn't become invasive to where the stream led and made another dam to enclose the lake's stream.

Nina later then found a MAGICAL SPATULA and made scrambled eggs ON THIN AIR and she made bacon OUT OF NOTHING and she made cotton candy OUT OF FOG. They all ate it and they all died except Sophie.

Thankfully, Sophie woke up. "What the fuck kind of weird-ass dream was that?" she said to herself, noticing that it was still nighttime, so she laid her head back down and went back to sleep.

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A/N: This... This was the weirdest chapter I've ever thought about. I don't even KNOW what they put into my sprite, but it must have been tequila or something. I dunno. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Please, don't review this cracked chapter. This is what comes up into my mind at random. I IS SORRY! I IS VERY SORRY! ***Hides in my box* **PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY! Plus, this is my shortest chapter currently at 7/1/2014, 5:13. Canada's 147's birthday! YAY! :D Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Canada (or Matthew Williams if you're counting the real name of him from Hetalia which I watch), Happy birthday to you!


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